I clung to French poet-actionist Charles Penneck slogan: "I stay away from myself." Unwinding this idea I remembered Oleg Nikolayevich Karavaichuk composition that became a core, a basis and a theme of my work.

For me this video is about a fear to be myself, be opened, to see and to interact with what I'm surrounded with, without an attempt to hide myself. This song, sound uttered by either a shaman, or crazy, or wounded animal, touches my most inmost, hidden deep inside, my own dance and soul voice. That is how I perceived it while creating an animation of the characters in video by the movements of my body.

For me these grey fat pigeons in my work embody certain circumstances that time after time peck out in us life, or fear, forcing us to see that all around you is you and there is nothing to fear except you.

Small owlet standing on the stool is like a child telling a poem to adults. In full view of everybody, like a canary in the cage, whose life is to please its master. The cage symbolizes some imaginary circumstances, fears, doubts in what we immure ourselves. It turns out that protecting myself from myself, I stay away from myself.

This work was exhibited in a space consisted from two rooms. In first one I used an empty concrete niche in the wall to imitate windows with pigeons. In second one, that was an unfinished swimming pool, I placed a projection with a main video and sound of O.N. Karavaichuk. The space architecture emphasized the influence and helped to interpret the work better.


Sound: Oleg Nikolayevich Karavaichuk

Video installation, Residency of Arts & Technology Quartariata, Petergof, 2016
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In 2017 this artwork was included in shortlist of Kuriokhin art prize award in nomination "Media object"